Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
