He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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