i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
