I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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