You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Let the clothes fall where they may.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
