Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
