I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
