found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
