DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Boobs are out for the taking
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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