Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
