She announced her abortion via fbk
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
