have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
