dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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