HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it because I queefed?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
