I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
