She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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