my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize