it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
