party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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