Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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