idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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