ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
