Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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