butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
