porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
