In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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