if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
