Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
