If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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