guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
