I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it's not cheating when I paid for it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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