Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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