allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
