At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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