He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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