So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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