Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
