just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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