Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
