Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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