Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
