U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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