She said her name was "party"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
