I have demons in me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
