I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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