It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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