Who wears a wallet chain?!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
