i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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