I want to walk on stilts...naked
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I believe in your delicious
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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