Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
