I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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