So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
