i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize