my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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