i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I believe in your delicious
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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