ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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