I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
