take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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