well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
