i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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