Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
