There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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