She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
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I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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