Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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