how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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