I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My pussy is not your playground.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
